终于，要过去的...

八月，是个困惑的季节，

我想到两个艾略特，

一个俯面漂浮在水上，

一个被欲望和仇恨吊在笼中。

 

孩子们问，是谁？什么时候？

她回应说，是我，我要死，

这暮色苍茫的时刻， 那强忍泪水的台上，

在总有烟火缭绕的你们，和娇小蛤蟆的

此间此处，是的，我要死...

 

难以言传的，black symphony，美丽妈妈的Sharon，

guitar与bass，竖琴和圆号，

你的声音，在你的脚下，你的黑色翅膀，

getting wilder, coming closer, into my world,

Though this might just be the ending of the life I held, so dear,

But I am calling your name in my tears,

两手高悬的羊角，邪恶的五芒星，my dear,

以及民工样的Prof. Hara亲切等待，举起铅笔配合他的inverted pendulums on two cars，摇晃，

百佳的大妈从进店那刻起，我们一并synchronized smile，不懂她的话，

但谁不懂，如何扮演清纯和清醒...

以及懂得怎样喝酒。For the pain of sorrow,
被脏水浸泡过，蒿草一般的发，

只想用一把火把它点着，没有牵挂地

坐下，在这个理智而不能收回的岁月里，

醒，这瓶白葡萄酒，不是血，而是淋巴...

 

清洁伤口的液体，以及你微醺的声响，

我止住哭的冲动，坐在岸上。

我是否应该把我的荒原收拾好，

顺着那干涩的手，

谨慎一点，拆开、并重新包裹过去的盒子，...

 

谁是总走在你身边的第三个人，

总在裂开的路上蹒跚，在昏黄中爆炸，

我不知道是男人还是女人，

只是干哑低吟，

可是没有水，也没有谁。

 

"Deep into a dying day,

I took a step outside an innocent heart,
Prepare to hate me fall when I may,

This night will hurt you like never before,
Old loves, they die hard, Old lies, they die harder..."

 

幻想下一个清醒的黎明，

是的，我埋醉自己，也一并幻想你的死去，

所有的爱都受到废黜，这是在你的讣告里也找不到的，

只能用这些残简来支撑我的断垣残壁，

舍己，同情，克制，平静...

 

请端详，你的眼睛，和你的躯体...你的美丽，和你的坚强...

 

 

For someone, the night weaver, the dream destroyer, and my friends...

8.28, 2 years.

见了sonia，都快10年了，大家由衷怀念了一下Angela...

 

贴照片，有小新，猫，山松，司，波仔和静娃，咋没找到熊老大的照片呢？

One of the most intersting thing is that

half drunk, half sober, and swim in the pool...

forgetting things, forgetting myself, leaving only the mark on the water.

One of the most disturbing thing is that:

you suffer the insomina,

but you can hardly read, write, talk, listen to some music or watch some movies in such a long long night,

The only manner you could behave is going into the kitchen, and cooling a meal............

清晨，在醒来和再次醒来间做了一个梦，梦见给朋友电话告别，朋友母亲接起电话说朋友已经离开了家，而且已在飞往美国的飞机上...

心想今天一定要打个电话，可拖拖沓沓到了傍晚，才拨通电话，竟然与梦境如出一辙...

没能告别一下下，还是小遗憾的...

 

昨日下午，在中央车站旁的岔路口，看见一人，两人对视了近20秒，然后走近互问：你是...，你是...系的？都知道认错，走开。

相貌，话语，笑容，和一个N久未见的朋友如出一辙，那时真的有点恍惚，心问你怎么到这里来了...

体会到，veronique的故事在现实世界也是可能的。

 

Perchance,

Silence, Night and Dreams,

To Speak,
To Dream,
To Find,
To Know,
To Die,
Be Faithful, Go,
To Love...

 

不久之前，我们都还是就著油灯读书。如今，我们的眼前却充斥著电视、电脑萤幕和手机，人们都忘记了灵魂这回事，因为他们没有时间、也没有地方来关照灵魂。---Zbiqniew Preisner

Look for a spark that lights the night,
through a teardrop in my eye. 

 

又过了一周。

周日周一接送朋友，周二办证，周四周五lab party。

除了写PPT，没做啥。

Tex的时候就是听歌，scattered中那些高中本科时感动的烂谷子们，

撒播撒播喂猪咯。

论文就那样被出差的老板搁置，

唉，爷写的不是论文，是寂寞。

大埔墟的海鲜，火炭的排档，粉岭的碧湖，

呵呵，6座H，wellcome的西梅和葡萄酒。

差点就让自己感动泪落了。

特此记。

 

I can see when you stay low nothing happens. Does it feel right ?
Late at night, things I thought I put behind me, haunt my mind.
I just know there's no escape now, once it sets its eyes on you.

But I won't run, have to stare it in the eye.

Stand my ground, I won't give in. No more denying, I gotta face it,

won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside.
If I don't make it, someone else will.

Stand My Ground.

It's all around, getting stronger, coming closer, into my world.
I can feel, that it's time for me to face it, can I take it?
Though this might just be the ending of the life I held so dear,
but I won't run, there's no turning back from here.

Stand my ground, I won't give in, no more denying, I gotta face it.
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside.
If I don't make it, someone else will.
Stand My Ground

All I know for sure is I'm trying, I will always stand my ground.

 

PS: I really need something I knew I couldn't have for now. And I missed some guy for sure.

PS: To be continued...  Energize Me and Floor Jansen

 

Perfection of swim as half drunk half sober,

when wink at the brink of the water.

 

The forthcoming finale of So You Think You Can Dance tonight,

impulse me throwing energy like bluebird in twilight...

 

BT ya...